To help guys escape from shopping escapades!!!!

Hats off to Mr. Samsel…..



This is why women should not take men shopping against their will……………….

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of diapers and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Regards,
Tom Richards
Walmart Manager

Practicality

A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude".

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi John. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire! last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment. Then the pastor said, "That's so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer, after much thought said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Lesson: No emotions please, only practicality works here.

Vicious cycle or empty cycle

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea ..  It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to choose one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything.  However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.....

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business today.

Hell

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen..."

The Miser

There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"

She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you were not crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

"Yes," the wife said, "I promised. I am a good Christian, I can not lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

An Ode to Calcutta Pujo

A beautiful write up by Vir Sanghvi  (Editorial Director of Hindustan Times) on Kolkata & Durga Puja :

What 'Pujo' means to a Bengali ?

Most modern Indian cities strive to rise above ethnicity. Tell anybody who lives in Bombay that he lives in a Maharashtrian city and he will take immediate offence. We are cosmopolitan, he will say indigenously.

Tell a Delhiwalla that his is a Punjabi city (which, in many ways, it is) and he will respond with much self-righteous nonsense about being the nation's capital, about the international composition of the city's elite etc.

And tell a Bangalorean that he lives in a Kannadiga city and you'll get lots of techno-gaff about the internet revolution and about how Bangalore is even more cosmopolitan than Bombay.

But, the only way to understand what Calcutta is about is recognize that the city is essentially Bengali. What's more, no Bengali minds you saying that.

Rather, he is proud of the fact.

Calcutta's strengths and weaknesses mirror those of the Bengali character. It has the drawbacks: the sudden passions, the cheerful chaos, the utter

contempt for mere commerce, the fiery response to the smallest provocation. And it has the strengths (actually, I think of the drawbacks as strengths in their

own way). Calcutta embodies the Bengali love of culture; the triumph of intellectualism over greed; the complete transparency of all emotions, the

disdain with which hypocrisy and insincerity are treated; the warmth of genuine humanity; and the supremacy of emotion over all other aspects of human

existence.

That's why Calcutta is not for everyone.

You want your cities clean and green; stick to Delhi. You want your cities, rich and impersonal; go to Bombay. You want them high-tech and full of draught

beer; Bangalore's your place. But if you want a city with a soul: come to Calcutta.

When I look back on the years I've spent in Calcutta - and I come back so many times each year that I often feel I've never been away - I don't

remember the things that people remember about cities.

When I think of London, I think of the vast open spaces of Hyde Park. When I think of NewYork, I think of the frenzy of Times Square.

When I think of Tokyo, I think of the bright lights of Shinjiku. And when I think of Paris, I think of the Champs Elysee.

But when I think of Calcutta, I never think of any one place. I don't focus on the greenery of the maidan, the beauty of the Victoria Memorial, the bustle

of Burra Bazar or the splendour of the new Howrah Bridge. I think of people. Because, finally, a city is more than bricks and mortars, street lights and tarred roads. A city is the sum of its people. And who can ever forget or replicate - the people of Calcutta?

When I first came to live here, I was told that the city would grow on me. What nobody told me was that the city would change my life. It was in Calcutta that I

learn't about true warmth; about simple human decency; about love and friendship; about emotions and caring; about truth and honesty. I learn't other things too. Coming from Bombay as I did, it was a revelation to live in a city where people judged each other on the things that really mattered; where they recognized that being rich did not make you a better person - in fact, it might have the opposite effect. I learn't also that if life is about more than just money, it is about the things that other cities ignore; about culture, about ideas, about art, and about passion.

In Bombay, a man with a relatively low income will salt some of it away for the day when he gets a stock market tip. In Calcutta, a man with exactly the same

income will not know the difference between a debenture and a dividend. But he will spend his money on the things that matter. Each morning, he will read at

least two newspapers and develop sharply etched views on the state of the world. Each evening, there will be fresh (ideally, fresh-water or river) fish on his

table. His children will be encouraged to learn to dance or sing. His family will appreciate the power of poetry And for him, religion and culture will be in

inextricably bound together.

Ah religion! Tell outsiders about the importance of Puja in Calcutta and they'll scoff. Don't be silly, they'll say. Puja is a religious festival. And Bengal has voted for the CPM since 1977. How can godless Bengal be so hung up on a religions festival? I never know how to explain them that to a Bengali, religion consists of much more than shouting Jai Shri Ram or pulling down somebody's mosque. It has little to do with meaningless ritual or sinister political activity.

The essence of Puja is that all the passions of Bengal converge: emotion, culture, the love of life, the warmth of being together, the joy of celebration, the pride in artistic expression and yes, the cult of the goddess. It may be about religion. But is about much more than just worship. In which other part of India would small, not particularly well-off localities, vie with each other to produce the best pandals? Where else could puja pandals go beyond religion to draw inspiration from everything else? In the years I lived in Calcutta, the pandals featured Amitabh Bachchan, Princes Diana and even Saddam Hussain! Where else would children cry with the sheer emotional power of Dashimi, upset that the Goddess had left their homes? Where else would the whole city gooseflesh when the dhakis first begin to beat their drums? Which other Indian festival - in any part of the country - is so much about food, about going from one roadside stall to another, following your nose as it trails the smells of cooking?

To understand Puja, you must understand Calcutta. And to understand Calcutta, you must understand the Bengali. It's not easy. Certainly, you can't do it till you come and live here, till you let Calcutta suffuse your being, invade your bloodstream and steal your soul. But once you have, you'll love Calcutta forever.

Wherever you go, a bit of Calcutta will go with you. I know, because it's happened to me. And every Puja, I am overcome by the magic of Bengal.

It's a feeling that'll never go away.

The pain and joy of writing

Writing is difficult, it surely is. Most of the times when you have the topic and the flow of thoughts to write a piece you are never in a perfect place or with a pen/paper or a computer around. When you have all the necessary equipment you are lost for words and topics to write on. In fact there is a term that has been coined for this state – A Writers Block.

Writing involves a lot. It’s much more than just penning down words. The words and thoughts have to be well-thought and arranged. It has to be well structured and proper restraint has to be exercised.  After all a write-up written with least effort is often least enjoyed. It’s only when you put in the effort to think, analyse, write your piece, structure it, edit it and review it well you will never be able to produce something that people will really enjoy and like.

If writing is so difficult then getting people to write is even worse. It’s like a wild goose chase. The moment u run after someone to write that person runs away. Even a mere ping just to ask one’s health and well-being is considered as a precursor to asking the “Have you managed to write anything?” question. The person totally flips out and goes offline that very instant. You can be rest assured that you will not hear anything from that person for some time (I’m trying to be nice here :)).

But there's something about writing that just sets it aside. It provides a vent to one’s feelings, calms your inner storms and is extremely good for the soul. I believe everyone should write because not only everybody has a story to tell but also when you write you feel alive. So just write, write about anything. You may not write a masterpiece but will definitely write your story. It’s your thoughts, your words and your space.  And what’s great is the more you write the better you get at it. So come, write on 3NLabs.com and Discover Writing!

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• A Writing A Day Makes A Writer's Block Away (onredawk.wordpress.com)

Why a woman is special

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Only God keeps You Going

One day I decided to quit... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... ...I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said.. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied.

When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.

But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.

"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit.." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots.

Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots."

"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. " Don't compare yourself to others .." He said. " The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern ... Yet, they both make the forest beautiful."

Your time will come, " God said to me. " You will rise high! " How high should I rise?" I asked.

How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return. "As high as it can? " I questioned.

" Yes. " He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can. "

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. He will never give up on you. Never regret a day in your life.

Good days give you happiness
Bad days give you experiences;
Both are essential to life.

A happy and meaningful life requires our continuous input and creativity. It does not happen by chance. It happens because of our choices and actions. And each day we are given new opportunities to choose and act and, in doing so, we create our own unique journey." Keep going...

Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong, Sorrows keep you Human, Failures keep you humble , Success keeps You Glowing, but Only God keeps You Going!

Friends or Foes?

Some days u cant help remind yourself, how much better it was when we were kids!!

Friends were friends and foes were foes, there was always a bold line drawn between the two in thick black ink.... na......thick black crayons!!!

Feelings were always clear and intentions never misunderstood!

And now we have grown up, and we have to wear a smile, while in our minds we might be screaming our heads off, with whatever bits of bad words we know!

We need to put our heads to concentrate on multicoloured computer monitors, when we actually want to go out and party!!

We have to be friends to our foes, which almost automatically makes our friends behave to us as if we their foes !

Every look, every word, every intention is misunderstood in every possible way! So much to the point that great people started proclaiming that 'the secret of failure, is trying to impress Everybody!'

Indeed, if we intent to clear every misunderstanding 'everyone' had got about us... then we would not have time for 'anything' else at all!!!! But does that mean that we live life our way and never care about others??? Answer would be a BIG NO !!!

So then what could we do?

Nokia's comeback punch

There was a time when Nokia announced that they were standing on a burning platform. Today Nokia is burning and yes, burning hot. The attitude, the strategy, the vibes are all an indication that Nokia is on a comeback trail, a fight not only to be the number one handset maker or the number one in usage but to win back the hearts which it has lost temporarily, to give the ever so loyalist Nokia fan something to cheer about.

The deal with Microsoft took everyone by storm, the biggest name in the world of computers had shaken hands with the biggest name in telecom, to create a device that would transform our lives like never before – using the ever so familiar Windows with the confidence a Nokia brings along. The world is waiting, the predictions are magical. But while the war is still to be waged Nokia is slowly and steadily winning the battles with NFC, Belle, new smartphones at affordable prices and promises of frequent updates and support. Come October 26th, the world will watch Nokia’s comeback punch. After all our greatest victory doesn’t lie in winning always but rising after every fall. Long to be there.

My Mom, My Love

After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea. "I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise. "But I love YOU," I protested.

"I know, but you also love her."The other woman who my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded.

"Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment then said "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.

When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited at the door with her coat on.

She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu to her. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entrée, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me.

A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used t o have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time for you to relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary - but catching up on recent events of each others lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you". I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and giving our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family and friends.

Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time".

Someone once said "I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I think this is true with your in-laws, grandchildren, sisters, brothers and your friends. Anyone that means something to you-you should spend time with them and let them know how much they mean to you as often as you can

"A smile is nearly always inspired by another smile."

"Never Play With The Feelings Of Others Because You May Win The Game But You Will Surely Lose The Person For Life Time."

Treasure what you have right now

From the beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy, saying that it had got to do with his family background & that the girl would have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him. Due to family pressure, the couple quarreled often. Though the girl loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy was not good with words, it often caused the girl to be very upset. With that & family pressure, the girl often vented her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence. After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl:

"I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged. The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, pursuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it was hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she thought of some comforting words, but realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She had lost her voice....

The doctor said that the impact on her brain had caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents comfort she broke down. During the stay in the hospital it was just her silent cry that accompanied her.

Upon reaching home, everything seemed to be the same except for the specially assigned ring tone of the phone which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She did not wish to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she did not wish to wait any longer. With that, she sent the engagement ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of letters, countless phone calls; but all the girl could do was cry.... The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

In a new environment, the girl learnt the sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She requested her friend not to let him know what had happened to her. Since then, there wasn't any news of him. A year passed by & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she opened the letter, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language to tell her "I've spent a year to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to give. Treat every moment as is it's the last day, and then you'll know how to treasure. Treasure what you have right now, or else you will regret one day...

Tears of happiness

The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she's settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. 'How could this have happened to me?' she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth, her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. All she had to cling to was her husband Mark.

Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength she needed to become independent again. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic, and costly.

Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react? Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each day he would ride the bus with her until she got the hang of it.

And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try
the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday....

Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? "Why do you envy me?" The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, "What do you mean?" The driver said, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine-looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."

Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was blessed, so blessed, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness."You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her..."
So if you love someone be faithful to that person.

True love is an acceptance

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his 80's, presented to have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I (nurse) took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would check his wound. On examination it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. Asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning somewhere else, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired about her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. "And you are still going every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them, but you always know they're there.

What's my name?

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.

After one week, a test was held.

The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares.

In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs.

No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs.

The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute.

Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk.

"This is the worst test I have ever given."

The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have flunked the test. What's your name?"

The student pulled down his pant showing his legs and said: "You tell me !!! "

Love is like a butterfly

Love is hardly what our Bollywood movies describe it as. The mild cool breeze blowing across the face, the hearing of music in the air, the happy-go-lucky attitude, the flying dupatta's, etc is nowhere be seen when someone is in love. Infact the worse thing is one hardly even realizes that he/she is in love. It’s only when you go away from the person that the sudden cravingness begins, the sudden void and the sudden realization sets in. A person whom you always regarded as a close friend, a confidant becomes even more closer, becomes more yours and you become entirely his/hers.

It can’t be defined or even explained what love is. Whether it’s the amazing sense of understanding that just a look would be sufficient to convey the feelings or the feeling of one’s presence even if the other is miles away; but for sure it’s the hearts of those in love coming so close that words are replaced by mild whispers and feelings are felt as one.

I had gone on a trek to Korigad a few months ago and happened to meet a friend who I hadn’t met for months. From our last meeting I found Riya to be smart, wise, level headed, practical and single with no intention to mingle. Over the period of time while we were apart I got to know through Facebook that she was now in relationship and later had got engaged. I always wondered what had transpired during that course of time that had brought about such a change. Now was my chance and I didn’t want to miss it.

I took a seat next to Riya in the bus on our way back to Bombay and asked her about the back to back shocks she gave all of us. She replied with a big smile so characteristic of her. She went on to say that she had met her fiancé Amit during a college reunion. They were a part of the same group in college and had lots of fun together. During the reunion they shared memories of the time spent back then and had a gala time. Even after the reunion they continued to keep in touch through sms’, chats, calls, meets, etc. The small conversations had now turned to long ones and frequent connections had turned to constant ones. Due to official work Riya had to shift to The Netherlands for two months. So she and her friend said their goodbye’s and promised to catch up when she returns. However it seemed that even the distance couldn’t keep them apart. Riya had to settle in a new environment and Amit had to settle without her. They now started calling each other with international rates applicable. Soon they realized they were not the ‘just friends’ they regarded themselves to be and craved for each other more than anything else. Before Riya could know it Amit caught a flight to Amsterdam and met Riya in person. They both sat; talked and asked each other the one question they had all this while been asking themselves, “Our we in love with each other?” The answer was clearly out in the open. Both were themselves in each other’s company, were well understood, completely acceptable and couldn’t stand the others absence. They chalked out all the differences they had and how they could deal with them and decided that they would spend their lives together till death did them apart, all this under the romantic Eifel Tower. On returning back to India they told their parents who were more than willing even though there was a cultural difference. Riya and Amit exchanged rings setting the ball rolling.

When I got off the bus I kept thinking about this. Probably it’s true when they say that “Love hits you when you least expect it.” One may think that he is in love but love is something you can just feel and not think about. After all, Love is like a butterfly.

Parable of the Turtle Picnic

A turtle family went on a picnic.. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outings.Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found it. For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements.

Then they discovered the had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home.

Although he was the fastest of the slow-moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed-- and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years.. then in the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and began to unwrap a sandwich.

At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."

The Moral Is...

Some of us waste our lives waiting for people to live up to our expectations of them. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.

The Coders Quotes

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

-Dennis Ritchie



Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

—Ralph Johnson



Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

-Fred Brooks



It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;

It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell

---

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure,

and the intelligent are full of doubt.

-Bertrand Russell

---

If debugging is the process of removing bugs,

Then programming must be the process of putting them in..

-Edsger Dijkstra

---

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;

You cannot have both at the same time.

–Bertrand Meyer

---

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

-Alan J. Perlis

---

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring

aircraft building progress by weight.

-Bill Gates

---

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.

The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

-Tom Cargill

---

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.

The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.

So far the Universe is winning.

-Anonymous

---

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.

Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.

Programmers combine Theory and Practice:

Nothing works and they don't know why.

---

The Six Phases of a Project:

·       Enthusiasm

·       Disillusionment

·       Panic

·       Search for the Guilty

·       Punishment of the Innocent

·       Praise for non-participants

The suffering 'Common Man'

As a daily habit, ten-year old Pintu was reading the newspaper.

Suddenly he asked his father, "Dad! What does 'Governance System?" mean?

"It's like..." his father said while thinking, "See! I earn and bring home the money, that means I am the 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money, hence she is the 'Government'. The maid in our house does all the household chores, so she is the 'Labour Class'. You are a 'Common man' or the 'Public'. Your kid brother is the 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understood?"

That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts in his mind. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his kid brother was crying as he had wetted the matrices. Pintu went to wake-up his mother. She was fast asleep so Pintu went to the maid's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping with her. So he came back with frustration.

Next morning Pintu's father asked him, "Hey Pintu Darling! Did you understand the 'Governance System'?"

Pintu replied, "Yeah Dad, I did. Last night, Money Holder was exploiting Labour Class and our Government was sleeping. Future of our nation was crying for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man (I) was suffering.

A crazy guys fix

One truck driver was doing his usual load delivery at a mental hospital, by parking his vehicle beside an open drain. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to return from the mental hospital. He jacked up the truck and removed the flat Tyre to fix the spare Tyre.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the four bolts in the open drain. As he cannot fish the bolts in the open drain, he started to panic as to what should be done?

Just then, one patient happened to walk past him and asked the driver as to why he was looking troubled. The driver thought to himself, since there is nothing much he can do or this mental joker can. Just to keep the bugging away, the truck driver informed the whole episode to the mental patient and gave a helpless look.

The patient just laughed at the truck driver and said you just cannot even fix such a simple problem? No wonder you are destined to remain a truck driver for life. The truck driver was astonished to hear such a compliment from a mental guy.

Here is what you can do said the mental guy. Take one bolt from each of the remaining three Tire’s/wheels and fix it on to this Tyre. Then drive down to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones. Isn't it simple my friend!!!!

The truck driver was so impressed with this quick fix answer and asked the patient, how come you are so smart and intelligent and you are here at the mental hospital?

The patient replied...hello friend! I stay here because I am crazy but not stupid.

No wonder, there are some people, who behave like the Truck Driver, thinking that others are just stupid. So, guys, though you all are learned and wise, but, just watch out, there could be some CRAZY guys in our professional / personal lives, who could give us lot of quick fixes and brush our wisdom.

If you're an Indian and you think you speak English correctly, think again.

We are a unique species, aren’t we? Not humans. Indians, I mean. No other race speaks or spells like we do.

Take greetings for example.

A friendly clerk asking me for my name is apt to start a conversation with, “What is your good name?” As if I hold that sort of information close to my heart and only divulge my evil pseudonym. Bizarre.

These are  Indianisms.

Which got me thinking about a compilation, the greatest hits of the 11 most hilarious Indianisms out there. The most common ones, and my favorites among them.

1. 'Passing out'

When you complete your studies at an educational institution, you graduate from that institution.

You do not "pass out" from that institution.

To "pass out" refers to losing consciousness, like after you get too drunk, though I’m not sure how we managed to connect graduating and intoxication.

Oh wait … of course, poor grades throughout the year could lead to a sudden elation on hearing you’ve passed all of your exams, which could lead to you actually "passing out," but this is rare at best.

2. 'Kindly revert'

One common mistake we make is using the word revert to mean reply or respond.

Revert means "to return to a former state."

I can’t help thinking of a sarcastic answer every time this comes up.

“Please revert at the earliest.”

“Sure, I’ll set my biological clock to regress evolutionarily to my original primitive hydrocarbon state at 12 p.m. today."

3. 'Years back'

If it happened in the past, it happened years ago, not "years back."

Given how common this phrase is, I’m guessing the first person who switched "ago" for "back" probably did it years back. See what I mean?

And speaking of "back," asking someone to use the backside entrance sounds so wrong.

“So when did you buy this car?”

“Oh, years back.”

“Cool, can you open the backside? I’d like to get a load in.”

4. 'Doing the needful'

Try to avoid using the phrase "do the needful." It went out of style decades ago, about the time the British left.

Using it today indicates you are a dinosaur, a dinosaur with bad grammar.

You may use the phrase humorously, to poke fun at such archaic speech, or other dinosaurs.

“Will you do the needful?”

“Of course, and I’ll send you a telegram to let you know it's done too.”

5. 'Discuss about'

“What shall we discuss about today?”

“Let’s discuss about politics. We need a fault-ridden topic to mirror our bad grammar.”

You don't "discuss about" something; you just discuss things.

The word "discuss" means to "talk about". There is no reason to insert the word "about" after "discuss."

That would be like saying "talk about about." Which "brings about" me to my next peeve.

6. 'Order for'

"Hey, let’s order for a pizza."

"Sure, and why not raid a library while we’re about it.”

When you order something, you "order" it, you do not "order for" it.

Who knows when or why we began placing random prepositions after verbs?

Perhaps somewhere in our history someone lost a little faith in the "doing" word and added "for" to make sure their order would reach them. They must have been pretty hungry.

7. 'Do one thing'

When someone approaches you with a query, and your reply begins with the phrase "do one thing," you're doing it wrong.

"Do one thing" is a phrase that does not make sense.

It is an Indianism. It is only understood in India. It is not proper English. It is irritating. It’s a translation of the vernacular – “ek kaam karo”

There are better ways to begin a reply. And worst of all, any person who starts a sentence with "do one thing" invariably ends up giving you at least five things to do.

“My computer keeps getting hung.”

“Do one thing. Clear your history. Delete your cookies. Defrag your hardrive. Run a virus check. Restart your computer... .”

8. 'Out of station'

“Sorry I can’t talk right now, I’m out of station.”

“What a coincidence, Vijay, I’m in a station right now.”

Another blast from the past, this one, and also, extremely outdated.

What's wrong with "out of town" or "not in Mumbai" or my favorite "I'm not here"?

9. The big sleep

"I’m going to bed now, sleep is coming."

"OK, say hi to it for me."

While a fan of anthropomorphism, I do have my limits. "Sleep is coming" is taking things a bit too far.

Your life isn’t a poem. You don’t have to give body cycles their own personalities.

10. 'Prepone'

“Let’s prepone the meeting from 11 a.m. to 10 a.m.”

Because the opposite of postpone just has to be prepone, right?

"Prepone" is probably the most famous Indianism of all time; one that I’m proud of, and that I actually support as a new entry to all English dictionaries.

Because it makes sense. Because it fills a gap. Because we need it. We’re Indians, damn it. Students of chaos theory.

We don’t have the time to say silly things like "could you please bring the meeting forward."

Prepone it is.

11.Heighted / Weighted

Adding ‘ed’ to a word. Trust me, these are not alternatives to Tall / Fat. Beware; the person you are addressing will laugh at you. Your reputation is on the line.

There are many more pure grammatical "gems" in what we call Indian English. Perhaps in time I’ll list some more. And perhaps in the near future, we’ll get better at English.

Till then, kindly adjust ;)

The Polish Divorce

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyers office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand.
Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says:
Polish Remover!!!

Wife Control

God comes and says :-

"I want the men to form two queues :-
one queue for men who had control over their women and the other one
for the men who were controlled by their women.

Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk.

God returns, the women are gone, and there are two queues.
The queue for men who were controlled by their women is 10 miles long,
and in the queue for men who had control over their women there is
only one man.
God is flabbergasted and says, " All you men should be ashamed of
yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by
your women. Only one of my sons stood up and made me proud. Learn from
him!"
"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this queue?"

The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here.”

A day in my life, the lesson learnt

And life continues to surprise. On and often we encounter such moments which send chills down the spine. They make you feel something. Something which could not be described, for which the words might fall short. The closest we can say is..a Learning. This is one of the encounters I had on one day.

It was an "unusal" day for me, as it started very early in the morning, 4:30 am. With my standards of waking up in the "morning", it was still mid-night. Reason? We were supposed to be the one among the crowd of thousands thronging to be face-to-face with one of Mumbai's famous deities - "Lalbaugh cha Raja", the almighty Ganesha, supposed to be the "Wish Granter". As it was going to be the last day of Ganesh Utsav, we made a point to visit the Lord, so that some of our "wishes" may be granted. Also, there was a zest to see the grandeur for which the venue is famous for. Well, we started fine, reached well, joined the queue among the thousands, prayed to the Lord, snapped a couple of pictures, and started back home. No, This is not what all I wanted to share to be the "learning". Like everyone reading this, even I was informed that the "Moral of the story" was yet to come.

Me, with my wife were to board a local train back to where my home is. We boarded one of the coaches in the train, and realized later that it was meant for handicapped. But, there I met with my greatest surprise in life. A few seconds after we had boarded and got a seat for ourselves entered four members of a family. A young boy of around ten years, followed by his father, followed by his mother, carrying their youngest daughters in her arms. They seated in front of us, and the train started moving. . It took me few seconds to realize the uniqueness of the family. Both the kids were one of the kinds every parent would like to have. Very charming daughter, and a caring son. Add to it, they both were too beautiful. And now the strangest part... both the parents were ..BLIND !!!!

So, when they boarded the train, it was like the game of train we used to play while we were kids...one holding the shoulder of the other in front, and the front one guiding them like the engine. Father holding son's shoulders, mother that of father while the daughter was still in her arms. Both of us just looked at each other, and without uttering a word, again started looking at them. The son was talking to his father, uttering very slowly into his ears, while the mother was busy taking care of the daughter, also seated on the seat, between the father and the mother. They all started having some chips from a packet, sharing among all as if they are like everyone.

After some minutes, my wife broke the silence, asking me a question for which I did not have any answer, and I am sure nobody would have. How did they up bring their kids? There are so many things that need to be done for that..right from giving the right place to sleep to right food to eat. But probably that is the "survial of the fittest"..being described in our science text books in school days. I was just wondering the skills of the woman while she would be cooking food. She surely would be using some tricks to cook her food. Might be smell or something.

For next 20-25 minutes, both of us were silent, thinking of the family and one very important fact. Did the parents knew what they posses? Do they know they have one of the most beautiful daughters in the words with blue-eyes; and so was the young boy. So confident as if he can take care of the family and can guide them on the right track. How many families would be there in Mumbai itself, just waiting to shower all their love for a kind they long for so long, and are constantly visiting multiple doctors, innumerable gods and goddesses for their wishes to be granted, just waiting for that to happen so that their just aim in life would be fulfilled. And there was sitting one family before us, having those wishes, but they could not comprehend the wealth they posses. We have read in school days... Early to bed , Early to rise..makes man healthy, wealthy and wise. The statement was coming true.

My wife said a statement which could make a mind healthy, if not body... "We keep struggling for petty things... See them... What do they have? Everything , but nothing. We are so engrossed in our petty pains that we are miles apart from gross sufferings people have. Ours is just a smallest particle in front of them". Secondly these incidents, if you posses those eyes and mind to read, give you the biggest wealth in life... Containment in what we have. If you can look, touch, communicate and hear things you have, you have the wordly wealth. Offcourse money is a means to cherish it. But their is no end to accumulation, and in that, we tend to forget to cherish what we already have.

But this is beyond "Being Human". Every human needs two things...which the next person has, and the other which the next person does not have. And that is all driving the world today. We finally came back home, and thought we have got the blessings already. We were made to realize we should thank him for what he has given us. For what we don't have, life is still there. Keep the hopes alive !!!