Parable of the Turtle Picnic

A turtle family went on a picnic.. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outings.Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found it. For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements.

Then they discovered the had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home.

Although he was the fastest of the slow-moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed-- and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years.. then in the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and began to unwrap a sandwich.

At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."

The Moral Is...

Some of us waste our lives waiting for people to live up to our expectations of them. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.

The Coders Quotes

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

-Dennis Ritchie



Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

—Ralph Johnson



Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

-Fred Brooks



It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;

It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell

---

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure,

and the intelligent are full of doubt.

-Bertrand Russell

---

If debugging is the process of removing bugs,

Then programming must be the process of putting them in..

-Edsger Dijkstra

---

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;

You cannot have both at the same time.

–Bertrand Meyer

---

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

-Alan J. Perlis

---

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring

aircraft building progress by weight.

-Bill Gates

---

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.

The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

-Tom Cargill

---

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.

The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.

So far the Universe is winning.

-Anonymous

---

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.

Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.

Programmers combine Theory and Practice:

Nothing works and they don't know why.

---

The Six Phases of a Project:

·       Enthusiasm

·       Disillusionment

·       Panic

·       Search for the Guilty

·       Punishment of the Innocent

·       Praise for non-participants

The suffering 'Common Man'

As a daily habit, ten-year old Pintu was reading the newspaper.

Suddenly he asked his father, "Dad! What does 'Governance System?" mean?

"It's like..." his father said while thinking, "See! I earn and bring home the money, that means I am the 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money, hence she is the 'Government'. The maid in our house does all the household chores, so she is the 'Labour Class'. You are a 'Common man' or the 'Public'. Your kid brother is the 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understood?"

That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts in his mind. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his kid brother was crying as he had wetted the matrices. Pintu went to wake-up his mother. She was fast asleep so Pintu went to the maid's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping with her. So he came back with frustration.

Next morning Pintu's father asked him, "Hey Pintu Darling! Did you understand the 'Governance System'?"

Pintu replied, "Yeah Dad, I did. Last night, Money Holder was exploiting Labour Class and our Government was sleeping. Future of our nation was crying for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man (I) was suffering.

A crazy guys fix

One truck driver was doing his usual load delivery at a mental hospital, by parking his vehicle beside an open drain. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to return from the mental hospital. He jacked up the truck and removed the flat Tyre to fix the spare Tyre.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the four bolts in the open drain. As he cannot fish the bolts in the open drain, he started to panic as to what should be done?

Just then, one patient happened to walk past him and asked the driver as to why he was looking troubled. The driver thought to himself, since there is nothing much he can do or this mental joker can. Just to keep the bugging away, the truck driver informed the whole episode to the mental patient and gave a helpless look.

The patient just laughed at the truck driver and said you just cannot even fix such a simple problem? No wonder you are destined to remain a truck driver for life. The truck driver was astonished to hear such a compliment from a mental guy.

Here is what you can do said the mental guy. Take one bolt from each of the remaining three Tire’s/wheels and fix it on to this Tyre. Then drive down to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones. Isn't it simple my friend!!!!

The truck driver was so impressed with this quick fix answer and asked the patient, how come you are so smart and intelligent and you are here at the mental hospital?

The patient replied...hello friend! I stay here because I am crazy but not stupid.

No wonder, there are some people, who behave like the Truck Driver, thinking that others are just stupid. So, guys, though you all are learned and wise, but, just watch out, there could be some CRAZY guys in our professional / personal lives, who could give us lot of quick fixes and brush our wisdom.

The Real Performers

There was a farmer who collected horses; he only needed one more breed to complete his collection. One day, he found out that his neighbor had the particular horse breed he needed. So, he constantly bothered his neighbor until he sold it to him.

A month later, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said:
Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and   if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.
Nearby, the pig listened closely to their conversation. The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig approached the horse and said: Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!

On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig came back and said: Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three... On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said: Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the pig approached the horse and said: Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three ... Good, good. Now faster, come on.... Fantastic! Run, run more! Yes! Yes! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!

All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My horse is cured. This deserves a party. Let's kill the pig!

Points for reflection: This often happens in the workplace. Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves

the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.

LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL !!

If anyone ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, remember: Amateurs built the Ark and Professionals built the Titanic.

A class in Theology

A group of kids, with some in their early childhood, came to the church on a war footing  to meet the Parish priest. “Where is the parish priest???” they enquired. “Down the corridor, in the room on the right” the sacristan replied looking at the anger on their face coupled with great dejection, without raising a question. The kids knocked on the door. “Come in” said the priest wondering who came to visit him at this hour in the morning. “Father, we're angry, very angry with God”. The priest thinking that this was not an ordinary issue folded his newspaper and kept it aside along with his cup of tea. “Why, what happened”. “Father, do you know, our cat was very sick. We prayed to God, so much, every day, every single day so he would cure him of his sickness. We showed him to the doctor, gave him medicines, took great care of him but to no avail. God has failed us. We are very angry with Him. Now we demand an answer as to why God did this. Tell us Father, tell us.”

Rounding up the kids the priest began explaining the concepts of life and death and theology. After going on and on, one of the kids; the youngest; held the arm of his sister who was standing right next to him and jerked it. With big eyes his sister chided him “Pay attention”. The boy tried paying attention again but again his patience ran out. He again gave his sister’s arm a jerk, this time he pulled it so hard that his sister’s ear was right next to his mouth. “This Father doesn't know anything!”

Sensing that the kids were not able to understand what he was saying and were getting restless by the minute he said, “You know God really loved the cat a lot and he couldn't do without it, hence he took it back. Your cat is now with God and in the best of health and happiness”. Hearing this the kids went back home happy and delighted that now their cat was with God and doing well.

Moral of the story – Always know your audience and speak to them in a language they understand. When you go fishing you don’t put a piece of pizza as a bait but a worm. Why? Because a fish doesn't know what pizza is but surely knows what a worm is.

What matters most...

It doesn't matter if you know the capitals of the countries or not; or how to get the webcam working; or how to pronounce words correctly. What matters is that by just looking at my face you can tell how I’m feeling or if there’s something wrong; or by gazing into my eyes the things that i don’t know how to express; by holding my hand you give me the confidence to take over the world. A sweet company in the boring times, a partaker in the toughest, a partner in the happy....in short..a best friend for Life!

You are someone to somebody

You are Everything To Somebody Right now at this very minute-----------

someone is very proud of you
someone is thinking of you
someone cares about you
someone misses you
someone wants to talk to you
someone wants to be with you
someone hopes you aren't in trouble
someone is thankful for the support you have provided
someone wants to hold your hand someone hopes everything turns out all right
someone wants you to be happy
someone wants you to find them
someone is celebrating your successes
someone wants to give you a gift
someone think you ARE a gift
someone hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
someone wants to hug you someone loves you
someone wants to lavish you with small gifts
someone admires your strength
someone is thinking of you and smiling
someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on
someone wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
someone thinks the world of you
someone wants to protect you
someone would do anything for you
someone wants to be forgiven
someone is grateful for your forgiveness
someone wants to laugh with you about old times
someone remembers you and wishes you were there
someone needs to know that your love is unconditional
somebody values your advice
someone wants to tell you how much they care
someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you
someone wants to share their dreams with you
someone wants to hold you in their arms
someone wants YOU to hold them in your arms
someone treasures your spirit
someone wishes they could STOP time because of you
someone can't wait to see you
someone wishes that things didn't have to change
someone loves you for who you are
someone loves the way you make them feel
someone wants to be with you
someone hears a song that reminds them of you
someone wants you to know they are there for you
someone is glad that you're their friend
someone wants to be your friend
someone stayed up all night thinking about you
someone is alive because of you
someone is wishing that you would notice them
someone wants to get to know you better
someone believes that you are their soul mate
someone wants to be near you
someone misses your guidance and advice
someone values your guidance and advice
someone has faith in you
someone trusts you
Someone needs you to send them this letter
someone needs your support
someone needs you to have faith in them
someone needs you to let them be your friend
someone will cry when they read this.

Life lessons from a glass of water!

A chemistry professor decided to teach his students a different lesson one day. Holding a glass of water in his hand, he asked the students, “How much do you think this glass of water weighs?” “500 grams!” came a voice from the back. “600,” said another student. “I don’t really know!” said the professor, holding the glass up to make sure everyone could see it. “And unless we weigh it, we won’t know.” With the glass still in his outstretched hand, the professor continued, “What will happen if I hold it like this for a few minutes?”

“Nothing!” came the reply. “Right, and if I hold it for an hour like this, what might happen?” “Your hand will begin to hurt,” said a student. “Indeed. And what would happen if I held the glass in my hand like this for 24 hours?”

“You would be in tremendous pain,” said one student. “Your hand will probably go numb,” said another. “Your arm will be paralysed and we’ll need to rush you to the hospital!” said a student on the last bench.

“True,” said the professor. “But notice that through all this, the weight of the glass did not change. What then causes the pain?”

The class went quiet. The students seemed puzzled.“What should I do to avoid the pain?” asked the professor. “Put the glass down!” said a student.

“Well said!” exclaimed the professor. “And that’s a lesson I want you to remember. The problems and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. But think about it a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralysed – incapable of doing anything. It’s important to remember to let go of your problems. Remember to put the glass down!”

We may not have been in that classroom that day, but it’s a lesson we would all do well to remember. Put the glass down! Always. It’s not just problems and worries. Sometimes, we feel hurt and betrayed by a friend. And we carry that grudge through our lives. It grows and causes us anguish and pain. Learning to forgive – and forget – is not just good for the other people, it’s great for you. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in jail and when he was finally freed, you can understand how angry and vengeful he must have felt. But guess what? When he became President, he invited his jailers to be present at the inauguration – in the VIP seats! If he could forgive after 27 years of suffering, surely we can too.

It is the same with our fears too. A failure or an incident in early childhood becomes a deeply entrenched fear over time. Fear of public speaking, fear of Maths, fear of rejection. You name it, and chances are, we have it. Someone gave us that glass to hold when we were little kids – ‘you are clumsy, you are no good, you can’t do it’ - and we have faithfully held on to it all our lives. ‘I can’t’ - becomes a thought that stays in our mind and grows – leading us to complete paralysis. Time to put the glass down!

The story goes that there was a hardworking man who lived a contented life with his wife and children. Every evening when he returned from work, he’d follow a ritual. Outside the door to his house were three nails. On the first one, he’d put his hat. On the second he’d hang his coat. And on the third nail, he’d unwrap an imaginary turban from his head and ‘put’ it there. A friend happened to see this and enquired what he was putting on the third nail every day.

“Those are my problems, my worries and my anger,” said the man. “I have lots of that at work, but when I come home, I remember to take it off – and leave them outside. I don’t take them home with me.” Maybe you should learn to do that too. Starting today. Put the glass down. And see the difference!

Happy Valentine's Day

As she walked in, the whole room went still

The valets at the door completely forgot their skill

The cold sounds of stiletto's as they went click click
Turned every brow wet and the air went thick

And then she turned around and gave a Mona Lisa smile
Which helped him to remember that it's been a long while

Since the time she first went completely off the rocker
Since the days he used to visit her alone in the locker

He wished they'd remembered what he'd told them before
That there is no sanity, left in her to look for

They'd asked him to be calm, and to have no fear
One can only wonder how she managed to get here

Sorry to interrupt, but I'm not sure if you noticed
I don't usually do this without a good purpose

Did you forget me? she focused on him and said
He replied no, you're supposed to be dead

You know that I adore you with all heart and soul
Even though my love for you takes a heavy toll

He could never imagine why, she should even bother
Considering he always treated her as cattle fodder

But she dreamed about him even though she'd been spurned
She felt true love never had to be returned

She believed him, even though his tales are phoney
And she always thought, of their future in matrimony

I've heard such lines before, he remarked, 'check please'
And I hope you do not plan to go down on your knees

Why should I be with you? U know beauty fades
I am in heaven! why should I choose Hades?

Because I will love you even though you are silly
My life without you is uneven and chilly

But do you bear any worth more valuable than charm?
He glanced quickly at the light pressure on his arm

Here's an envelope filled with reports within
The child holding you is the product of our sin

Finding a balance

A Quote from Bryan Dyson, CEO Coca Cola

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for Balance in your life.

How?

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings!

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.

Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way...

The Cracked Pot

Long ago, a water bearer in India had two large pots. Each hung on one end of a pole, which he carried across his shoulders. One of the pots had a crack in it. The other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, but the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house after each trip to the stream. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

Perceiving itself to be a bitter failure, the cracked pot spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old racked pot took notice of the beautiful flowers beside the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had again leaked half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. But the bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them.

"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

The Buddhist Monk Story

Two Buddhist Monks were on a journey, one was a senior monk, the other a junior monk. During their journey they approached a raging river and on the river bank stood a young lady. She was clearly concerned about how she would get to the other side of the river without drowning.

The junior monk walked straight past her without giving it a thought and he crossed the river. The senior monk picked up the woman and carried her across the river. He placed her down, they parted ways with woman and on they went with the journey.

As the journey went on, the senior monk could see some concern on the junior monk's mind, he asked what was wrong. The junior monk replied, "how could you carry her like that? You know we can't touch women, it's against our way of life". The senior monk answered, "I left the woman at the rivers edge a long way back, why are you still carrying her?"

The moral of that buddhist monk story: The senior monk had broken rules but for good reason. Once the purpose was fulfilled he put her down and continued on. He never gave it a further thought. The junior monk however did not touch the woman but he had brought up the actions of the senior monk when it was an action of the past. Therefore the junior monk was carrying the burden of what the senior monk had done as emotional baggage.

We have little use for the past except for the purpose of learning from our experiences, good and bad. Just like in the Buddhist monk story, we need to let go of any burden the past may place on us. It's happened, it's over, it cannot be changed, we can only move forward and create a compelling future.