I want a girl-friend

I always wished (I still wish….so what if the ban is lifted?) that I had a girl-friend. People may be wondering as to what’s with the hyphen? Well the hyphen is what makes all the difference. In computer programming lingo an explicit use of the hyphen is done so as to make the reader not get the wrong impression (wasn’t that the heading of an article I wrote some days back???.....bloody hell it’s just one article back…am I that irregular???).  The hyphenated girlfriend means that a girl who’s your friend. (I guess everyone knows what the non-hyphenated girlfriend means).

There are many reasons for me to have this (strange for some) desire. Firstly it’s probably the things or rather qualities females have and bring along with them. The warmth, the care, the beauty, the support, the fun is just some of the many many things. We males seriously having got intertwined in our fast paced lives have forgotten to live. It’s ultimately the females that teach us how to live. I always remember my father always saying these words whenever my mother offers him a cup of tea after a hard day’s work, “There's nothing sweeter than a cup of tea offered to you by your wife or mother after a hard days work” (This line is actually my grand-fathers….my father probably uses it to just maska marofy my mother).

I remember having this chat with one of my closest friends. It was once that we were sipping over water-melon juice (that’s because I was paying, if it was from his side it would have been a cup of tea worth Rs.3/-). Amongst my frustration I said that I seriously wished that I had a girlfriend. Hearing this he asked me a simple question, “Do you want a girlfriend or a friend who’s a girl”. Well now to be honest, that question made me think (well all questions do….but still….). I answered that I want a friend who’s a girl. Well actually there are many reasons due to which I hold this view. Firstly, (now I don’t know how to put this) I am a very relationship inclined person. I would love to be in a relationship because probably along with that comes a sense of commitment. I tell you that when two people are committed to each other one doesn’t have to worry about anything on this planet. He knows he has someone to care for him, someone to lookout for him, someone to go somewhere with, someone just to share a joke with, moreover someone just to say things to without wanting an answer. That’s probably what happens when you want someone so desperately that you kind of become a hunter while all the single females on this planet become eligible prey’s (so next time you see decent guys eyeing girls…you know what they're going through). Now given this description about me and my feelings….what would you say if I told you that I’m brought up in a family in which getting married has certain criteria’s to be met?

1. The girl has to be a Christian (preferably Catholic)


2. She should be preferably Goan.

I remember the day (it was just the very next day after I had answered my Std.XII exams. That too the first thing in the morning…just imagine….my day had indeed started off with a bang). The moment my father cited the first condition my brain started doing the math and I swear the result was not appealing. Out of the 100% of India’s population that I could aim for, my chances had diminished to a mere 1.8% (Nelton, teri to lag gayi). On the 2^nd condition I settled for just 0.2% (thanks to the Goan diaspora and to my dad for not thinking about that clause). So I have left that job of finding a girlfriend to my parents and I’m instead searching for a girl-friend.

Secondly, I hate to see my friends taking their so-called girl-friends pillion while I have no one to do so (sob sob).

Well so now coming back to my chat, I said a girl-friend would be just right. During our chat we actually landed bringing up so many points as to why having a girl-friend is so important and more than that amazing. Other than the qualities I mentioned earlier, just by simply having a girl-friend you automatically begin understanding the opposite sex’s perspective. You see girls just don’t (and probably can’t) think as we boys do. Our make is absolutely different. (we are like Ferrari, they’re just some local brand…hehehe). We think, we analyze, we make decisions using our brain. With girls it’s the heart that does all this work. (That’s the reason that my sister always indirectly tortures me by switching over to programs like Balka Vadhu, Ladies Special and Uttaran while I am watching Numbers, 24 and Hustle). We boys just never see that which in certain cases is very important. (Probably like my father who always yelled at me given my preparation for the exam but my mother always encouraged me and told me to give my best).

Having girls in your friend circle always helps in the long run. The reason being you’ll never feel out of place in their company. You’ll automatically act in a very decent and respectable manner. (We guys hurl abuses at one another in good times as well as bad. Most of the times abuses are used instead of hi, hello and punctuation marks). Even more so, on seeing a good looking female in public you won’t get hyper and start behaving like a puppy that’s panting and desperate for something to drink.

Lastly, it’s a great feeling to take a pretty girl pillion right in front of your friends (you can actually smell something burning)

So keeping all these things in mind, I have come to the conclusion that I really want a girl-friend. Someone just like the Aditi-Jai friendship from ‘Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na’. The only questions are when will I have one and who will she be. Hoping for that day to come soon.  (If there’s any girl reading this blog….hello, please get in touch with me asap).