Saturday, January 26, 2013

Lost in History


There have been multiple mass massacres and disaster in our country that fade away in old files and Folders , often justice denied. Stories of  tore FIR papers, or promised compensations that were hardly dispatched, One such incident is the Sabarimala Pullumedu Disaster (read more ). This post isnt about the complaints or aftereffects, just another first person attempt towards the narration of the tragedy.

This had become just like a ritual for  me....devotion always had a very prominent place in my heart...
....I wasn't  a god fearing person....in fact I loved god...

This year too, I decided to visit sabarimala.
My decision to make my 18th pilgrimage to sabarimala on makarasankrathi was perhaps a coincidence..
It was the first time that I am going to witness the 'wonder'..and the feeling was completely different. Devotion, excitement , adventure....every thing rained into me..

There exists many contradictions against the mystery of occurrence of Makara Jyothi..they say it all..

Numerous reasons..but I find it very difficult to decide between rationalism and devotion.

However it was completely a different experience when I witnessed everything...a sense of completeness...the belief that the almighty does exist...

It had answered my question..perhaps the question which remains unanswered in the hearts of many a souls on this earth...

DOES GOD EXIST??

Many have their own reasons to justify the existence of the super power ,,but today my eyes answered them all..I was almost immersed in the truth..and forgot all the other worldly existence..It was completely different ,,,an aura of purity and holiness

The extra security and force on the proper path to sabarimala caused many a discomfort for the devotees..and hence to avoid the danger of stampede we preferred the other way..the way through pullumedu.

It was my journey back home..much eager to share my experience with my family
This time there was a feeling of  completeness in me

There were many happy faces around me...right from the 5 year old to the 70 year old.

It all began with a road accident..perhaps the reason is still not clear for the government .. may be the clarity is dim because of the closed eyes of irresponsibility..

All that I remember is just a hush bush caused by many a people running across..disturbing the serene atmosphere..
the air that echoed Swami Saranam was now filled with cries of helplessness..

Perhaps many had experienced the unexpected...and then after a minute of complete darkness....I opened my eyes...I could see an auto besides a jeep..both crushed ...only to result in many black and saffron torn clothes ...very difficult to recognise human body amidst the crap...

I tried lifting myself ...all that I wanted was to escape from this disastrous place...run away to a  peaceful place...so that I could prove myself that it was just a bad night mare...and I am going to wake from my sleep in a minute or so...
but truth was something else...I was completely destroyed when I realised that my body is almost paralysed ..and ...


AM I DYING...??

I saw them all...the 5 year old with whom I shared this journey...the old woman who explained me the significance of devotion and belief..

An hour ago...I hardly thought about my lifespan...In fact I was busy searching excuses to explain to my boss for the extended leave..I just cared about the family..my job ..my journey..but never ever imagined it to be the last journey of my life..

Far from my loved ones...the only thing that remains is the desire to meet them once..but helpless ...

My body is lying here in the debris along with many a devotees...now this is somewhere all the gaps are bridged..no caste..no religion..no one even asks you about the colour of your ration card when you are at the gates of death...every creature is equal in the eyes of death

I wish my death no more remains a unanswered case like many other accidents...I wish they sort out the reason for this stampede...

I wish they don't price the value of my life...in lakhs or thousands.,...

I wish no more devotee ever fear to visit sabarimala..for silly security reasons..

I wish they show more interest in the investigation of the accident,...and not in the reality of makara jyothi..

but can the DEAD wish...??

I WISH I WASN'T DEAD...
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