Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The deal about friendship…

Taking a leaf out of the countless sms’, philosophies and definitions friendship has always been described as a ship which never sinks, an unbreakable bond, a relationship higher than any other, etc, etc, etc. but what I do not understand is what people call friendship and what actually defines it? (aren’t the two things the same???...I don’t know. If yes, then lemme know)
Setting all these countless theories apart, I guess the basis or essence of friendship lies
1. In the people involved in friendship.
2. The kind of mutual understanding they share.

According to me, friendship is more of a give and take relationship. But what’s more important is that the give and take should be of equal measure. I understand that maintaining such a fine balance is pretty difficult, so a slight imbalance is permitted (hehehe).
Friendship is all about sharing things, giving things, taking things and seeing to the other persons comfort. It’s not about only I give-give and you just take-take. It’s moreover also not about taking the other person for granted.
Given the scenario where 2 so-called friends have to make a trip to the same place for the same work having a travel time of 16hrs one way (it's actually a boy-girl scenario in which the boy is the friend of the girl, whether the inverse holds true is unknown). The duration of the stay would be 4 days. The boy somehow finds out the date the girl has booked her tickets for and books his accordingly just because of 2 reasons...
1. It’s boring to travel alone
2. They could meet each other since they haven’t for some time now.

The best part is that the girl has no clue about the boy’s travel details. He hasn’t told her so as to give her a surprise (after all the girl loves surprises). Though the girl has booked tickets according to her own convenience, the boy is surely going to miss a lot.

Finally the boy lands up taking the same journey as the girl (whether the girl was surprised is unknown…so I don’t know if the plan worked). 16hrs just flew by. It was a nice journey. Due to good fortune or rather misfortune, the work was complete on the same day. The girl had plans to spend time with her friends, while the boy had none.

In the process of the work getting done a small conversation broke out. It ended with the boy just leaving that room and the girl behind. That was the end of it.

Sometimes I wonder whether it’s actually possible for a boy and a girl to be just friends. Is it so difficult? For my peanut-sized brain this is a too big question. Probably the famous dialogue of the super hit film ‘Maine Pyaar Kiya’ still holds water…”Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi bhi dost nahi ban sakte.” What irritates me is that why; why do girls always think that if a guy is being friendly with her means that he is after her? Don’t we guys have better and more constructive things to do? (I agree that there are some guys, but there are many girls who do the same). If a guy seems to be friendly with her, he is termed as to being after her. The moment he stops being friendly, she accuses him of being unfriendly. Strange….very strange.

Firstly I would like to make this very clear. We boys do not expect anything out of you. The only thing we probably want is that you be friendly with us. We too have our own plans and ambitions in life (so what if we don’t get as many marks as you'll do?). We do understand that you’ll have your own plans, you'll want to spend time with your friends...agreed, but I guess things can be said in a much nicer way.
Secondly, if a guy goes out of his own way and makes plans that match yours so that the both of you can make the journey without the other having to travel alone and getting bored in the process, though the boy has all to lose and the girl having literally none, learn to at least be appreciative of the fact. Don’t come up with a statement that, “I never told you to book tickets for the same day as me, that’s your mistake”. It’s irritating, it’s horrible to hear and moreover it’s painful.

Now going back to the incident. On the third day, the boy along with his friends happened to cross the girl. No hi’s, hello’s or even eye-contact was made by the boy (I guess someday you learn you're lessons, even if you’re a slow learner like this boy). On the journey back home, the boy and the girl are seated in totally different compartments (probably it was destined). The girl sends a sms asking the boy as to where is he seated? The boy promptly replies. The girl rings him up and asks him to join him on her seat. The boy bored of sitting all alone with nothing to do, somehow does away with it. Instead for sometime he catches up on his other friend who’s in the next compartment and travelling with family. The girl (probably figuring out that the boy is not coming there) again calls and asks for the boy’s whereabouts. The boy replies that he’s on his seat and making arrangements for dinner so he won’t be able to make it there. The girl then lands up on the boy’s seat and kick starts a small chat. The girl mentions to the boy that she’s getting bored there sitting all alone (wasn’t this the same person who always likes travelling alone, isn’t boring her cup of tea???). The girl then asks the question whether the boy was angry with her??? (are we boys some kind of hooters that are supposed to blow whenever we are angry so as to let you know….cant you'll just sense it the way we probably do). The boy answers in the negative. More questions were asked by the girl, which the boy answered in QnA format (it’s where an answer is given that’s just apt for the question. No extra info is given). After the chat, the girl went back to her place. The next morning they were at their own destinations.

As I said in the beginning friendship is all about giving and receiving in equal measure. Everytime it shouldn’t be the boy who puts in all the effort. If 2 people are sitting face to face (with the boy just to make himself heard is stretching himself) and there’s place near the boy, it makes sense that the girl occupies that seat rather than giving a lame excuse that “this is my seat” (I wonder what reservations are for). Surprisingly when the window seat is available the excuse vanishes into thin air. The boy shouldn’t always have to go up to the girl’s seat. The girl also should do it sometimes even if both of them are travelling in different classes i.e. the boy in sleeper and the girl in 3AC. Shockingly even here the boy has to go upto the girl. The reason here can be justified that the girl is in AC so the experience should be paisa vasool. But when the girl leads the boy outside the compartment in the non AC area it doesn’t make sense (probably the girl doesn’t want the boy to enjoy even a minute of AC…who knows???). Whenever a meet is arranged, the boy is supposed to be on time and not keep the girl waiting even for a minute. Otherwise she would leave. But it’s completely okay to keep the boy waiting (wonderful!!!). That’s why, probably its best for us boys to go alone somewhere even for a movie. I understand the movie may not be that fun watching alone. But at least there are no worries about what people may be thinking and no fears of lines that only hurt us and do nothing else.

At the end, if you have some girl who thinks in the same manner as the girl above then just tell her 1 line…
“Tumhari kismat itni bhi acchi nahi hain ki mujh jaisa ladka tere peeche pade”. I guess that will set the record straight.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Blogs One Should Read