It’s Not Easy

Nikhil was not his usual self. A sense of uneasiness had gripped him. If there was ever a doubt, his sleep laden eyes bore witness to the fact that he was disturbed at least for the last few hours. In fact, the uneasiness was so much that there was no need for the couple of cups of coffee he used to have daily to put him into gear. He picked up his phone to check if he had received any message or call. There was nothing. “Damn it” he said. 

There was no new notification since the last time he checked his phone, which was just two minutes ago. Unable to suffer the agony anymore, he dialled the first number listed in his favourites. The recipient’s phone rang and continued to ring. Finally a voice spoke, “The number you are calling is not responding.” 

“Heaven Megs, answer the bloody phone” he thought. 

Tapping the ‘Call Again’ button on his iPhone 3GS, he held the phone against his ear hoping that at least this time he would get a better response. The phone at the other end rang once, then twice…he waited with bated breath, counting each ring but before the entire cycle of rings could be done, he got a reply, that too a different one but still not convincing. 

“The number you are calling is currently busy. Please try after some time.” 

“Megs…” Nikhil let out his frustration. His irritation was increasing. 

“Can’t she just reply to my messages or pick up the damn call?” 

He decided to try a third time. He needed an answer. Things were getting out of hand and fear was taking over which would soon lead him into doing things, not in his control. This time again the rings went through and again, he got a different reply, “The number you are calling is currently switched off or not reachable.” 

Nikhil couldn’t take it anymore. Placing his thumb, middle and index fingers on either sides of his forehead, he brought them towards each other hoping to quell the slight headache that had started its way into becoming a full blown migraine. Mental peace was at a premium and he was losing it fast. It was nearly two hours since he had walked into office, but it had been many hours since the anxiety had begun to creep in. Never been used to this kind of worry, he didn’t know what to do. He had loads of office work pending and timelines to catch up with, but with most of his mind blocked with thoughts of Megs he just couldn’t concentrate. To avoid unnecessary eyeballs, he sat at his desk and stared at his screen with his Outlook open. Using the direction keys on his keyboard, he moved from one mail to another. He didn’t read a line in the mails, all he needed was some solace.

Read the complete story in State of the Heart.