The Critic Me

“Yash, I am going for a bath. It will take some time for me to get ready. Till then you may read some magazines lying there” Aarti said pointing towards a shelf holding few dozens of novels, many biographies of some famous personalities & entrepreneurs and too many magazines & myriad of newspaper articles stacked in files, seemed almost like a mini library. She went to the bathroom. As Miss Sensuous had already announced that she is going to take some time to get ready, no wonder when it comes to girls, I was left with no other way so I thought of looking at her collection before having a day out with her. I was amazed reading appealing novel’s name, the name of the writers were so tough for me to even pronounce. I wondered how people read. I picked one book, checked the name, author’s name, saw its thickness & then put it back in place. I kept repeating the same until my gaze fall on a book with a Maroon cover page. I opened the book & with that I reached a page; the header of which declared “April 29, 2011” as there was a pen inside the book so by default that page appeared. I realized that it’s a Daily Diary. I had heard that many people write diary but I never knew that Aarti was one of them. Though I never like reading other peoples personal notes and diaries, still I went ahead and started reading her diary thinking I may came to discover something more of her, some hidden secrets, which I may have been kept in dark about. So I began reading……..

April 29, 2011

Dear Diary,

It was another usual day at office, not so unique. I was stuck with all those meetings & calls, this that & what not, just another hectic day! But today, I am here not to discuss about all that professional Jargon, in fact I wanted to share my experience of knowing a species of people whom I came to come across through certain fascinating incidents. Today, I came across the special ability of people who manages to find gaffe in anything & everything around.  I was so amazed at the remarkable flair that certain people are blessed with, to observe & identify each boo-boo in whatever topics that comes across them. Their vast knowledge on each & every theme, be it Movie or TV commercial, fashion or media, Bollywood or Sports, politician or whatever, these people have so much of extended knowledge of each & every arena that they can put forth their expert comments on any of them. These people are also known as “Critics”.

It first happened today during lunch hours. While I was having lunch with my colleagues, some of whom were watching TV with awesome delight, listening to music & also enjoying Pizza at the same time, that was ordered specially from Domino’s with a motive of Team building. Someone complained of not ordering from Pizza Hut, “It could have been better if it was ordered “Deep Dish” with extra cheese at least” someone else added. I was sitting facing my back towards the 31-inch LCD screen, so I couldn’t enjoy like others. Suddenly I heard something from some of my team mates that attracted my attention towards the LCD screen “What sort of crap is this? I don’t understand what these people wanted to convey?” I didn’t understand what he was referring to so I turned back to check out the same. He was passing his connoisseur comments on one of the TV commercial that I missed to watch but the next commercial that was currently playing definitely left a smile on my face in which a guy polishing his shoes asked his wife “Aaj Khane main kya hai?” in reply to which she replied cutely “Karela” & then the guy asked “Meethe main kya hai?” I was just amazed with the simplicity of the commercial & moreover the ad promoted “Dairy Milk” of which I am a huge fan since always. I decided to get a Dairy Milk after lunch & then I concentrated back on my lunch. I was amazed with the creativity of the production team behind the commercial that how smoothly they conveyed their message to the target customers & promote the product sales & why not, they are remunerated in millions for their extra ordinary creative skills.

Few moments later, another expert comment sounded, this time someone commented to the extra pounds on the belly of the girl in an Item number. I wondered of those so called perfectionists, who are blessed with exceptional ability to identify even minute error in anything, these people were strong observers.  I felt bad of being just an ordinary human though I personally felt that the girl was quite fit & well in shape. Moreover she had already proven her worth to be there, where she was today. She stands out of millions of people & moreover she has something that people could talk about of her. Millions of public watch her, listen to what she says, and reads about her; almost following her religiously. But no, I might be wrong, I thought. These “Critics” had a better understanding of the subject so I felt like saying nothing.

We had just finished our lunch when Pavitra, a charming intelligent Bengali team mate asked me something in Bengali “tumi Coke khaabe?” She unintentionally spoke in Bengali, her mother tongue but she wasn’t aware that she could be the next target to the “Critics Panel” She repeated her words in English this time asking everyone if anyone wanted to have her share of coke but it was too late & sets of question started surrounding her from nowhere. “How can be Coke (a drinkable item) be “Khaabe” & why not it be “Peebe?” Someone else asked “Why do you Bengalis use the word “Khaabe” for every eatables & drinkables as well?” The next question was even more typical to be answered “Why is it “Roshogolla” in Bengali which is simply “Rasgulla” in Hindi?” Pavitra was an intellectual with extremely calm attitude, she simply replied “It has nothing to do with non-Bengalis & you are no one to raise question to culture, language or religion of anyone. I may list out myriad of errors in everybody here, in your religion, your state, your language etc. etc... But my ethics don’t let me do so, I rather enjoy finding pleasure in anything good & appreciating the same”, her face still reflecting smile. The “Critic Panel” was speechless then. I was in awe of her that how an ordinary girl has put these experts in silence. These people who were gifted to judge anybody to everybody, their knowledge in every discipline, were speechless today & they had no answers to this ordinary girl.

One more such incident happened while I was checking my personal mails. I received a mail form one of my old college friend who informed me that she has started blogging, that sounded pretty interesting to me & I appreciated her efforts of writing. While reading her mail I got a chance to discover one more “Critic”. One of her article condemned one of the latest movie, another article of her talked about SRK’s performance in “My Name is Khan”. With that it reminded me of certain other write-ups that I had read, each one of which expressed their comments, sometimes complimenting in a rare case.

I am glad that I am not blessed with such special abilities of finding errors & to not behaving like a “Critic”. I enjoy anything good happening around & feel like appreciating it every time. I am happy to be what I am.

Aarti

“Yash!!! How dare you touch my diary? Don’t you have any personal ethics? You must know that you are not supposed to read anybody’s personal diary” Aarti’s words breezed through my ears from nowhere & the next moment she snatched the diary from my hand. I held the expression of a seven year old guy caught red-handed by his mother having orange ice stick at the road side vendor. I tried convincing her but instead she threw a gruesome look to me. I tried to defend myself “I... I was just… I didn’t read anything… please listen to me….” But I forgot the fact that girls are never programmed to listen, she said “just shut up OK”

“Hey listen to me dear, I am sorry… Can I see my sweetheart smiling?” I* said holding both of my ear-lobes.

“Just Go to Hell” she said with a witty face laying emphasis on the last word.

“We’ll go together honey. I’ll follow where ever you go” I took the diary from her hand, put it back on the shelf & added “Now would you let me to take you to The Hell?”

“What?”

“Ya, I have a better idea for today’s outing, lets booze at “The Hell” , it’s a nice pub in Sector 19 market”

She said smiling “You are a Dog, a Bastard, I am not going anywhere with you” Both of us smiled & we walked together to have a splendid day ahead.